Stop Child Sexual Abuse

<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb84orHdoTJU4hLXa8qBNY0uihyphenhyphen4Z1Erq0So_kFg_9zEn2WOCcecfeRXVyL6KZxUk4t9YpygKfPSW6nJN2YbCOIpIlBk7BNanSYLb75qaIOmRDvJPnN61-SY2vtd415UUQPGgoSeRdzNjx/s1600/untitled.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb84orHdoTJU4hLXa8qBNY0uihyphenhyphen4Z1Erq0So_kFg_9zEn2WOCcecfeRXVyL6KZxUk4t9YpygKfPSW6nJN2YbCOIpIlBk7BNanSYLb75qaIOmRDvJPnN61-SY2vtd415UUQPGgoSeRdzNjx/s200/untitled.bmp" width="153" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">By Robert Tornabene</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Since the incident that has permeated Penn State University there have been many people who have asked me to write an article on the issue of grooming, how it happens and how to protect against it. As with everything, I freely admit I am not an expert, especially in this area, I do however having first hand knowledge in my personal life that allows me draw upon as a resource. This is an issue that is very important to me and I believe that all parents, care givers and adults should be aware of. <strong><em>We are the protectors of our young, we should best be prepared to do just that.</em></strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">But let me start by giving you some numbers</span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></strong></div><ul><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The median age for reported sexual abuse is 9 years old.</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">30-40% of Children are abused by family members.</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">1 in 5 children are sexually solicited while on the internet.</span></div></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Approximately 20% of the victims of sexual abuse are under age eight.</span></div></li></ul><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>Here's what the predators do</strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">When you hear of grooming, the image that comes to mind of a normal person is personal care; hair, skin, face etc. But in the world of predators grooming actually refers to a deliberate action with the aim of befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child. The purpose is to lower the child’s inhibitions in preparation for sexual activity with the child or to exploit the child.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSy7i1b6_FJ86ccTlh0d-c8q78FuT5kXE4gbt6u_4rUbnhXtLaR-7cTWR8DzRwWfGLXgOu_He-zx8X8nfKAlG6Prp4qjx4aoIinJy1esjxGwLRof9DPQVbyxJ_LICGZNxkLv4aIIeRJfth/s1600/childsexabuse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSy7i1b6_FJ86ccTlh0d-c8q78FuT5kXE4gbt6u_4rUbnhXtLaR-7cTWR8DzRwWfGLXgOu_He-zx8X8nfKAlG6Prp4qjx4aoIinJy1esjxGwLRof9DPQVbyxJ_LICGZNxkLv4aIIeRJfth/s200/childsexabuse.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The actual act of grooming is a process that does not happen quickly. But I should add that generally child sexual abuse occurs at the hands of someone personally close and well known to that particular child. That actual abuse is typically preceded by grooming.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The actual process of grooming begins by the predator picking a target area. He may visit places where children are likely to go: schools, shopping malls, playgrounds, parks, and the like. He may work or volunteer at businesses that cater to children, such as what Sandusky is alleged to have done. Other predators will strike up relationships with adults who have children in the home—single parent families make particularly good targets. In these tough economic times, having someone help with child care or babysitting, makes adults with children even easier targets. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The next step is selecting the victim. While there is not single profile of a victim of child sexual abuse, as any child can be victimized, many predators target children that have obvious vulnerabilities. A child who is a loner, isolated who desires attention will reach out for that attention like a sponge to water. Children with family problems, those in particular who spend time alone and unsupervised may be targets. Children who lack self-esteem, confidence and who are isolated from their peers become likely targets.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">A child who feels unloved and unpopular will soak up adult attention like a sponge. Children with family problems, who spend time alone and unsupervised, who lack confidence and self-esteem, and who are isolated from their peers are all likely targets. The goal of targeting teens with obvious issues is two fold; first it’s easier to desensitize a child with these issues. Secondly, by building trust and confidence while increasing the target child’s isolation is imperative. The entire goal of the predator is to desensitize your child into accepting sexual abuse.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Predators engage or "recruit" their victims in different ways. Many use a combination of forced teaming and charm. They may offer to play games, give rides, or buy treats and gifts as tokens of friendship. They may offer drugs or alcohol to older children or teenagers, as John Wayne Gacy did in the late 1970’s. The predator may try to win a parents confidence with a child by offering your support by having a quick conversation with you about a lie the child told or by suggesting that there is something unbalanced to about your child. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzL9Mt5HHtYQhMZoFw4WqaHOa6DuTjZjyjjpLpVVw6Ki0cRPM-5SLH0zASMkGTyQDxcUDmKMRKgCKuFKgJvAM4zxepfOTlMybaraT-w2QOMZc4BqVqo6ylJBmlSI02ZPqgiGdhNAE7u074/s1600/Child-Sexual-Abuse-Has-Declined-by-5-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzL9Mt5HHtYQhMZoFw4WqaHOa6DuTjZjyjjpLpVVw6Ki0cRPM-5SLH0zASMkGTyQDxcUDmKMRKgCKuFKgJvAM4zxepfOTlMybaraT-w2QOMZc4BqVqo6ylJBmlSI02ZPqgiGdhNAE7u074/s200/Child-Sexual-Abuse-Has-Declined-by-5-2.jpg" width="159" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Towards the targeted child they will almost always offer a sympathetic, understanding ear. Using the lines such as, “Your parents don't understand or respect you? I do.” “Other kids make fun of you? I know what that's like—it was the same way for me when I was your age.” Nobody trusts you? Boy, I know what that's like—your parents never really want you to grow up. But I trust you. I respect you.” </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>Successful predators find and fill voids in a child's life</strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The predator’s goal is to promote secrecy at some point during the grooming process. The secrecy binds the victim to the predator: "Here's some candy. But don't tell your friends because they'll be jealous, and don't tell your mother because she won't like you snacking between meals." As the process continues the secrecy joins hands with threats: "If you tell your mother what happened, she'll hate you. It'll kill her. Or I'll kill her. Or I'll kill you." </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Ultimately the process used by the predator creates that emotional bond which through grooming leads to physical contact. Predators use the grooming process to break down a child's defenses and increase the child's acceptance of touch. The first physical contact between predator and victim is often nonsexual touching designed to identify limits: They may even tell an inappropriate joke to the targeted child, a touch on an upper arm that lingers a little too long or a kiss on the lips to test whether your child is likely to tell on them. If the predator is satisfied that your child won’t tell, the predator moves on to other forms of inappropriate touching. It breaks down inhibitions and leads to more overt sexual touching—the predator's ultimate goal.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>How to recognize it</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The best way to recognize grooming behavior is to pay attention to your child and the people in your child's life. Because children have not developed mentally to the point in which they fear people, or can intuit their intentions or have sufficient experience to support their beliefs it is an adults responsibility to protect children. The demands that are placed upon, should never – ever- be more important than the welfare of a child. When surrender responsibility for them to others without question, we invite trouble, particularly when that trust or responsibility is blindly given. Parents should know their child's teachers, coaches, day care providers, youth group leaders, and other significant adults in their lives. Make unannounced visits. Ask questions. Stay involved.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The organization <a href="http://www.d2l.org/" target="_blank">Darkness to Light</a> which seeks to protect young people from abuse through education and awareness and offers these <a href="http://www.d2l.org/atf/cf/%7B64AF78C4-5EB8-45AA-BC28-F7EE2B581919%7D/7%20Steps%20to%20Protecting%20Our%20Children.pdf" target="_blank">7 steps to protecting Children from Sexual Abuse.</a> They have an excellent on handout these steps to help protect children available for download.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><ol><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Learn the facts</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Minimize the opportunity</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Talk about it</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Stay Alert</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Make a plan</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Act on Suspicions</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Get Involved </span></div></li></ol><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>Wrapping it up</strong> </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Lastly —talk to your children. Teach them to recognize grooming behavior. Teach them to be wary of any physical contact initiated by an adult. And teach them to trust you with their problems and their pain. The safest child is the child who knows he can bring his problems and concerns to parents and adult caregivers without reproach or retaliation</span>.</span></span></div>

Stop Child Sexual Abuse

By Robert Tornabene Since the incident that has permeated Penn State University there have been many people who have asked me to write an ar...

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Return to School Jitters

The new school year is upon us all. My 11 year old reminded me just prior to school starting that he was “ready to go back to school.” I am reminded that there are many young people that do not want to go back to school. Not because they dislike school and the education process, but that they dislike what occurs while they are in school. The excitement for these children is replaced by foreboding and fear. What am I talking about you may ask? Bullying!<br /><br /><br /><div> </div>Those youth who experience bullying tend to be more reluctant about attending school, especially when they are entering a grade which requires transitioning to a different school setting. Transition is an extremely difficult time, it means physically and emotionally they are going through changes. Bullying is defined as using superior strength or influence, aggressive behavior, or negative, unwanted actions to intimidate or otherwise make another person uncomfortable. These behaviors are usually reproduced over time and are generally used to force a person to do what the bully wants.<br /><br /><div> </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6MQAeVbshSR7eCjMkU8ZCWCBHucjv5n7hWc-RalaDl4B6ccIEyAHGSoZdIziijrNQUJDy_EXLDAZFSo-yiFPezXDp9h07XA5UzcFjlfZlMkgeaucdKY3Z-5M49XULOlxZZQNnrel8Acxf/s1600/thumbnail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6MQAeVbshSR7eCjMkU8ZCWCBHucjv5n7hWc-RalaDl4B6ccIEyAHGSoZdIziijrNQUJDy_EXLDAZFSo-yiFPezXDp9h07XA5UzcFjlfZlMkgeaucdKY3Z-5M49XULOlxZZQNnrel8Acxf/s200/thumbnail.jpg" width="200" xaa="true" /></a>Most schools have what they believe are effective anti-bullying programs and campaigns. However, what is quite interesting is that most common place for bullying is in the playground estimated at 44%. The second most common place is in the classroom at 28%. This makes perfect sense if you observe the playground activities of most schools in your community. </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">The playground is an area that has so many things going on. There are those children who play sports, kickball, basketball, football, soccer or some other sports. Then there are those children who are playing on the jungle gyms and outside play equipment. Lastly, there are those children who are off on their own, in cliques, or small group’s chit chatting or playing some other type of activity. But what many of us do not see is that the adults, those people who are supposed to supervisor our children, in most cases are parent volunteers. They are clumped together, talking amongst themselves. Parent volunteers are just that they are Lunch Moms and Dads who are helping out their school and community by offering supervision. But what lacks is that most of them receive little or no training in the area of dealing with and being able to identify when a child is being bullied. </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheGY-TGuGHe4XUFnXBLtXCKq1ZiBEA_HoZ7NseHD7larzRmDynv1jQnqjfyZWgsct68uojAAlzjEdQkRcXJFTJx1bAsDL80PDtmU5HVObgJvweEMBQvdonxlZuc-ZElfTHFU74q1DR8Lwb/s1600/0_teenDrug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheGY-TGuGHe4XUFnXBLtXCKq1ZiBEA_HoZ7NseHD7larzRmDynv1jQnqjfyZWgsct68uojAAlzjEdQkRcXJFTJx1bAsDL80PDtmU5HVObgJvweEMBQvdonxlZuc-ZElfTHFU74q1DR8Lwb/s1600/0_teenDrug.jpg" xaa="true" /></a> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Bullying is seldom an extremely overt act. In the early stages it is extremely subtle and quick. Only after a period of time of prolonged bullying does is it overt and aggressive. As a parent, you should be contacting your school and finding out what training the staff is given, ask the question about volunteers and lunch room staff. Because much of what causes those feeling of uneasiness are those moments on the playground or cafeteria where your child may become a target of bullying.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><u>The Classroom</u></strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Next is the classroom, anti-bullying programs have focused on children and how they can deal they can prevent and deal with bullying. What training have your teachers in your community received? There is little training for teachers to learn how to identify bullying that occurs in the classroom. Much of what occurs in the classroom occurs while the teacher is in the classroom and in full view of the teacher. </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8JetWt8wVi52QOfFjbmp38WRUKUSgjgtl1J-WhiGzlvOZP9KZ-ZjhjuBydQIiZg-jSanyJr0s8uPTVsvaO_i11jeTuxVahY4qDJLa165cyzZdpXTBattn3f6bzqA-TlnTJiUhhphZ_LoX/s1600/classroom1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8JetWt8wVi52QOfFjbmp38WRUKUSgjgtl1J-WhiGzlvOZP9KZ-ZjhjuBydQIiZg-jSanyJr0s8uPTVsvaO_i11jeTuxVahY4qDJLa165cyzZdpXTBattn3f6bzqA-TlnTJiUhhphZ_LoX/s200/classroom1.jpg" width="200" xaa="true" /></a>Teachers need to not only learn that it occurs right in front of them, but that once they identify it, how they are going to address it properly in the classroom. By this meaning is the teacher going to place the “target” of the bullying into a more uncomfortable situation by assigning blame on the “target.”</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">According to children in school this all too frequently happens and this creates the belief in children that telling an adult does not help the problem. Parents need to stay active and learn what techniques their teachers are using to address bullying in school to prevent this type activity from continuing.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">  </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Here are some tips that you can go over to help your child deal with bullying. </strong></div><br /><ul><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Tell them to stop. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Walk away. Do not let them get to you. If you walk away or ignore them, they will not get that satisfaction. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Protect yourself. Sometimes you cannot walk away. If you are being physically hurt, protect yourself so that you can get away. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Tell an adult you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. In some cases, adults need to get involved for the bullying to stop. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Find a safe place. Go somewhere that you feel safe and secure like the library, a favorite teacher’s classroom, or the office.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Stick together. Stay with a group or individuals that you trust. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Find opportunities to make new friends. Explore your interests and join school or community activities such as sports, drama, or art. Volunteer or participate in community service.</li><br /></ul><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Once your child has opened the door, help your child begin to problem-solve. You can role-play different situations and encourage your children to respond in a positive manner. You can also help your child meet new friends or join a new team or club.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">  </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">In order to avoid a “he-said, she-said” type argument with the parent of the accused bully, you should refrain from contacting the other parent. Instead, school personnel should be involved. You want to report the situation so the teachers and administrators of your children are aware of the brewing issue and can keep a closer eye while they are on school grounds.</div><br /><div>  </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Don’t let your child be another bully statistic. Teach your child how to avoid bullying and what to do if bullying occurs. If your child is involved in a bully situation encourage them to talk to a trust adult.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div>

Return to School Jitters

The new school year is upon us all. My 11 year old reminded me just prior to school starting that he was “ready to go back to school.” I am ...

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Legal Drug Can Cause Dangerous Effects for Children!

<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBRmpupOfXKiR9Y6WOQOdcBKOKX2JJ-llg8L_1BA9m1kIqQRM-SJlvqyzchbeQurv0rZ3_j5lWYhjwTuyxE4Z_FK8W1EuYBlrSnDDn5Y3mdQU_pjs1sOH1S345L059nBoNKJuL2eK0ZPKq/s1600/lazycakes2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBRmpupOfXKiR9Y6WOQOdcBKOKX2JJ-llg8L_1BA9m1kIqQRM-SJlvqyzchbeQurv0rZ3_j5lWYhjwTuyxE4Z_FK8W1EuYBlrSnDDn5Y3mdQU_pjs1sOH1S345L059nBoNKJuL2eK0ZPKq/s200/lazycakes2.jpg" t8="true" width="200" /></a>I am sure many of you have heard about brownies that have had weed mixed into them and cooked. But I am relatively sure that most have not heard about "Lazy Cakes!" <a href="http://www.mylazycakes.com/">"Lazy Cakes!"</a> are marketed as herbal brownies designed to help adults de-stress. The brownies contain a high dosage of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin">melatonin</a>, a hormone that helps people sleep. According to the "Lazy Cakes" website, each brownie contains two servings or about 8 mg of the hormone. According to medical experts most people need a much smaller does of melatonin when it is used as a sleep aid.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR2OLkToBDhi0tf5vIruC9xsMEzvy8zOsCERFvnFmYi7Us449H2AmG8UveyWvjBTK9dQMmg7iSnFf1JRzdWrm8DrRTBXoAYn_O7C8RtQqrvp8E9fV9CWAN47q_lUQuJAnE8HrYxKX36aE1/s1600/lazycakesingredients.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR2OLkToBDhi0tf5vIruC9xsMEzvy8zOsCERFvnFmYi7Us449H2AmG8UveyWvjBTK9dQMmg7iSnFf1JRzdWrm8DrRTBXoAYn_O7C8RtQqrvp8E9fV9CWAN47q_lUQuJAnE8HrYxKX36aE1/s200/lazycakesingredients.jpg" t8="true" width="181" /></a>The problem with this product is that seen in the picture it's cutsie marketing and cartoon character appearance is clearly marketed at children and teenagers. Lazy Cakes are currently available in most convenience stores throughout the country. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">According to Dr. David Zich of Northwestern Memorial Hospital "Melatonin helps calm us down. It also lowers our core temperature and prepares us for sleep." But there are risks. "Melatonin can actually cause seizures in people who are predisposed to it. If you're a woman trying to get pregnant, or a man trying to start a family, it can interfere with your ability to start a family." For children and teens the effects may be more profound. Since "Lazy Cakes" have hit the market there have been several reports of children being hospitalized after eating them. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">  </div>Currently Arkansas became to first state to ban "Lazy Cakes."  Illinois Senator Dick Durbin has sent a letter to the FDA requesting them to regulate "Lazy Cakes."<br /><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7QBBs5nLGdf48q59phrBKbvOGAjxBixJfS_RIHKxjsMNiaQ3UT2PYakIt_-Zk1RSSxavZoqH3XerW0Vz_cL-hZycXyH8YOorLkWR6sL9kzQtbcx-wFpsjnlrPGi4LIOAKx5ywNDMq0Q9G/s1600/kushcakes2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7QBBs5nLGdf48q59phrBKbvOGAjxBixJfS_RIHKxjsMNiaQ3UT2PYakIt_-Zk1RSSxavZoqH3XerW0Vz_cL-hZycXyH8YOorLkWR6sL9kzQtbcx-wFpsjnlrPGi4LIOAKx5ywNDMq0Q9G/s200/kushcakes2.png" t8="true" width="170" /></a>But where there is one there are others, including <a href="http://www.kush-cakes.com/">"Kush Cakes"</a> and "Lulla Pies"  On the Kush Cakes website the warn that they should be taken with alcohol, and then contradicts itself with a this listing on the FAQ page, <em>"<span style="color: yellow;">4. Are Kush Cakes safe to eat while drinking alcohol?" "Does a 1 legged duck swim circles? Of course! You can eat a Kush Cake while enjoying a nice cold beer, or glass of wine perhaps. Be careful, you may get REALLY relaxed. Oh no!"</span></em><span style="color: yellow;"> </span>This seems extremely contradictory and can be misleading to children and teenagers. According to Kush Cakes "<span style="color: yellow;"><em>are made with more potent concentrated cakes are baked with love, our proprietary blend of natural ingredients and of course lots and lots of luscious chocolate!"</em> </span>but a listing of their ingredients are not readily available. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvdx-qhGZvOHG4nyeVtsdM-pFPpA1IAsXAIkFe_4wVJiKzWUlOI8NjvlDH4mrXbLrZcMz7ATQbHDbjS24elJNiPeeVs_8Zw1vg-USofGCLwEZ0t0v-dMLpVJz-BStwPgYYfRhZC7OOhevw/s1600/188167_222780781069567_8352917_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvdx-qhGZvOHG4nyeVtsdM-pFPpA1IAsXAIkFe_4wVJiKzWUlOI8NjvlDH4mrXbLrZcMz7ATQbHDbjS24elJNiPeeVs_8Zw1vg-USofGCLwEZ0t0v-dMLpVJz-BStwPgYYfRhZC7OOhevw/s1600/188167_222780781069567_8352917_n.jpg" t8="true" /></a>Then there are <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lulla-Pies/222780781069567">"Lulla Pies"</a> which are either a cookie or brownie. Seriously do adults need to use brownies or cookies to relax, are we all that stressed that cookies help us relax, my opinion is no! But these very items are extremely popular with children and teens "chocolate goodness" how would we feel if we labeled "heroin" with "chocolate goodness" would we feel better about it, NO! Now before you get worked up I am not saying the two are the same. But the ambiguity that we are allowing to be sent to our children is setting them up to begin using drugs or drug infused foods to help them deal with "stress" at even an earliar age! That to me is a recipe for disaster!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">These items are directly targeting the population that is looking for legal alternatives to getting high or increasing their high through poly drug use.  </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Either way this is another clear attempt of marketing that is designed to be attractive to children and teens. Otherwise why not market them like many other brownies packets in plain clear plastic with the label on them. These colorful, character driven packaging are marketed to your kids. Contact your legislature, community leader to let them hear your dissatisfaction with this really bad idea.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div>

Legal Drug Can Cause Dangerous Effects for Children!

I am sure many of you have heard about brownies that have had weed mixed into them and cooked. But I am relatively sure that most have not h...

Read more »